The Boy who Loved Ice Cream More than Anything Else in the World

Once there once was a boy who LOVED ice cream. He loved it more than anything else in the world. He loved it so much that he had tried almost all the flavors made by Blue Bell, and Haagen-DĄzs, and Braums, and Bresler's, and Baskin-Robbins. He had tried a few other brands, but they weren't nearly as good. And of all the ice cream he had tried, he thought Blue Bell made the best. And of all the flavors Blue Bell made, Pralines and Cream was his favorite.

There was, however, one flavor that the boy had never tried. Never in his whole life had the boy tried Rocky Road ice cream. Part of the reason was because it always made him think of Rocky Raccoon, one of the saddest songs he had ever heard. Of course, he didn't hear many songs, because most of the time he was just eating ice cream. But mainly, he never tried Rocky Road out of some inexplicable fear. There was just something about the very name that sent shivers up and down his spine. And while the boy liked having shivers sent up and down his spine by ice cream, these just weren't the same shivers at all.

One day, however, the boy mustered his courage. He knew that there was no real reason for his fear of Rocky Road, and knew that he'd never overcome his fear if he didn't try it sometime. So, the boy got his hands on some Rocky Road (by Blue Bell, of course) and fixed himself a bowl. Sometimes he liked toppings on his ice cream, especially bananas, but he wanted to start Rocky Road cold turkey. And he did.

All his fears were instantly proved wrong with the first bite! He LOVED Rocky Road, just like he loved all ice cream! In fact, he wasn't sure, but he thought he might just like it more than Pralines and Cream. He was so unsure that as soon as he finished his bowl of Rocky Road, he fixed a bowl of Pralines and Cream. When he ate it, it seemed a little bit better than Rocky Road. He wasn't sure if it WAS better, though, so he fixed another bowl of Rocky Road, just to see. About halfway through, he fixed a bowl of Pralines and Cream, and started eating them both, first a spoonful of Rocky Road, then a spoonful of Pralines and Cream.

Despite his having consumed two bowls of each, however, at the end of this taste test the boy was no more decided. However, he was as full as he had ever been. He was also kind of tired, so he went to sleep. That night, he dreamt.

Unfortunately, like many people these days, he wouldn't have cared to remember his dreams even if he could. But when he awoke, the first thing he thought of was Rocky Road. Then the second thing he thought of was Pralines and Cream. So thinking, he began again his taste-testing. In fact, he continued at the pace of two bowls of each a week for 6 days. On the seventh day, he could eat no more, and he went to his room to lie for a while in quiet contemplation. He was still undecided as to his favorite flavor quite some time later. He therefore chose to call on a higher power to aid in his decision.

And so it was that the young boy who loved ice cream more than anything else in the whole world came to call upon the aid of God. As he lay in his bed, he called forth, "God, show me the Way! I know not which Ice Cream is my favorite, and I call upon You to give me guidance." But God ignored him.

Perplexed, the boy decided that perhaps God could not hear him. So deciding, he went out to his front lawn, and once more cried out, "God, show me the Way! I know not which Ice Cream is my favorite, and I call upon you to give me guidance!" But once more God ignored him.

Still confused, the boy realized that perhaps he was simply too far away for God to notice. He therefore searched his neighborhood for the tallest tree he could find. When he found it, he climbed to its very top, to be as close to God as he could be. He then began once more to cry out, "God, show me the Way! I know not which Ice Cream is my favorite, and I call upon you to give me guidance!" But as he spoke atop the tree, the branches of the tree gave way under his great weight, and let him plummet to the earth.

The boy died when he hit, and thenceforth ceased to love ice cream.

Deep. I feel I have gained valuable insight into the nature of Chris